Title : Intro by Dave: "Dorks of the Tower"
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Intro by Dave: "Dorks of the Tower"
Hi, Everybody!
Hey Look! It's Dork Tower by John Kovalic:
DORKS OF THE TOWER"Hey, Marcia. Come and see the satanist."That one still cracks me up.
I have no great affection for gaming, but then I'm always suspicious when a noun becomes a verb without warning. Like "party". It is interesting to me that, right around the time-that "party" became a verb (I party, you party, he/she/it parties, we party, you party, they party), what it was describing had actually ceased to exist and the sort of characters that Kevin Smith has made a career out of documenting had taken over. In my day, when those fellows too over the keg, you knew that you should have left half an hour ago.
You might well ask what has this to do with John Kovalic and his excellent comic book, Dork Tower.
You might well ask what is wrong with the characters that Kevin Smith documents?
You would ask in vain, however, for I confine my closely reasoned arguments to the back pages of Cerebus.
Uh. Cerebus? The comic book that I draw?
Yes. Yes. Twenty-three years now (almost). A little over three years to go. Pardon? Yes it's one long story that I started in ... Science fiction? No, no. It isn't really a... well, Cerebus did do a tour of the solar system in one of.. Fantasy? Uhh. Yeah. I mean, not as much as there was early on when it was mostly a Conan parody. Conan. Well, before the movies, Conan was a ... No, I'm not really interested in Hollywood myself. You mean, like a Cerebus animated cartoon or something? No, I really... Well, the loss of control. See, when you sign a contract with a studio, they... Pardon? Well millions of dollars if everything goes right. But, you see, it only goes right once in a great while. Like with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but then you have to stop writing and drawing and become the CEO full-time of whatever you... Well, I don't know how many millions the Turtles made, exactly. But millions and millions, yes. Definitely... See, to me, when you self-publish your work, as I do with Cerebus and as John Kovalic is now doing with Dork Tower, the idea is to reduce the amount of outside interference and to limit the business side to turning the artwork into printed comic books and getting them to the...
No, comic books. The ones in the newspaper are comic strips.
Yes, it was very sad that Charles Schulz died.
JOHN KOVALIC GOT A LETTER FROM HIM ONCE.
Yes, that's right. The Charles Schulz. Oh, many millions of dollars ... maybe even a quarter of a billion.
Yes.
Yes. It is hard to imagine, Well, I think what impressed John was more the quality of the strip and that was why getting a letter fro its creator was such a big deal to him... why he has the letter framed and up on his...
No. A lot of cartoonists do that, but Schulz didn't have ghosts. He wrote and drew and pencilled and inked and lettered every Peanuts strip that ever...
Yes, wasn't that great? Yes, I watch it every Christmas myself. And when Linus goes out into the spotlight and starts reciting from Luke's Gospel...
Well, it was first aired in 1965, so I guess it's made a lot of money since then. I don't really know how those things work. Whether the studio paid every time it's aired and pays Schulz's estate (now), or if someone bought the rights to it, you know, some big corporation like Time-Warner or ABC or something offered a lot of money for it at some point and Schulz (or whoever owned it) just decided...
A Dork Tower movie?
Well, I don't know. See, that's one of the funny things with self-publishers. Some of them are interested in Hollywood and some aren't. It seems to me that you don't really know which one you are until you get an actual offer from...
... Pardon?
Well, I did--years and years ago--get a call from Lucasfilm... Yes. Star Wars. Definitely. Star Wars has made millions and millions of dollars... Well, no, just the one phone call. As I said, I'm not interested, so, you know, there wasn't much reason for them to call back. Regret it? No. No, uh, exactly the opposite. As I said, I don't really have any interest in Hollywood. As I said, the loss of control just...
Danny DeVito as Igor?
Well, Danny DeVito has got to be... what? Late forties, early fifties by now. I always got the impression that the characters in Dork Tower are... Well, yes, you're right. There are gamers who are in their late forties and early fifties. Yes, that's true. If you have characters of different ages, they do like that in Hollywood. Hit the different demographic groups. You could cast same hot twenty year-old as Matt and get that older brother-younger brother thing. Make Igor the sloppy one and Matt the neat one. Yeah, like the Odd Couple. No, no--exactly. The first Odd Couple movie or even the Odd Couple television show. Or you could make Matt a girl. Jenna Elfman and Davvy DeVito. Wouldn't that be something? Yeah, they're both really funny.
Speaking of really funny, have you ever read Dork Tower? The Dork Tower comic book? No?
You really should.
Yes,
Yes, it is.
It's very, very funny.
Dave SimKitchener, Ontario
3 June 00
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Dork Tower #9 (2000)
Art by John Kovalic & Dave Sim
(Also, "AARVAK VANHEIM"?!?)
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Man, that was a bitch to transcribe...
Next Time: Hobbs! You're up!
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